Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sex in the White House

by Libby Hellmann

Those of you who read The Huffington Post might have come across this article about Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship. It is the Huffington Post, of course, so it was highly complimentary. It talked about how they touch each other in public, how you can see their obvious love and respect for each other, etc.

My reaction? B-O-R-I-N-G. In fact, the Obamas may become the first Democratic occupants of the White House in years who are as boring as the Republicans in the bedroom.

Think about it. How many times did we see Nancy Reagan’s adoring gaze when she looked at Ronnie? Do we really want more of that? Remember all those love letters with the saccharine nicknames?

Excuse me, let me out.


What about Bush 41 and Barb? Be honest -- can you imagine them .. well.. you know? Or Nixon and Pat? Please. George and Laura? Well, maybe, when they were young. And yes, there was Eisenhower and Kay Summersby, but that happened During The War.

It’s much more fun to gossip about what went on behind the Clintons’ closed doors: the temper tantrums… the lamps being thrown… the Monica problem. And what about Jack Kennedy? Everyone knew he was a philanderer. Even LBJ was known to be a stud, when he wasn’t revealing his scars or his dogs’ ears. Okay, admittedly, Jimmy Carter and Harry Truman were boring, but what about FDR?
We still read all sorts of stories about his escapades, and, occasionally, even Eleanor’s.

Frankly, up until recently, the Democrats’ sex lives have just been more colorful. Maybe they took the call to “go to the mattresses” more seriously.

But now everything’s changing. First there were allegations that John McCain had an affair (in addition to the one with Cindy which broke up his first marriage). Then the National Enquirer claimed Sarah Palin had an affair with her husband’s business partner. Are the Republicans trying to play catch up, libido-wise?

Democrats acting like Republicans...Republicans acting like Democrats... And if Obama wins, he and Michelle may bring something approaching stability... even (gasp) love... into the White House.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

Actually, given everything else that's going on in the world, boring's probably not so bad.

What do you think?

23 comments:

Rob said...

Someone make sure to stick with Libby at all times for a while. With tags like "Sarah Palin" and "Sex" right next to each other in this post, someone's libel to make her "disappear" before November.

Watch your back, Libby. :)

Oh, and I could stand some boring in the White House. How about eight years of it?

Barbara D'Amato said...

Hi, Libby. You're my buddy, but I have to say I think the Obama's affection for each other is sweet, not boring. Okay, now I've come out as drippy and Pollyannaish. Gee.

David Terrenoire said...

Boring, dear God, give me boring.

No sleazy behavior with chunky interns. No wink wink about the prez and the Sec of State. No consorting with prostitutes while wearing a diaper. No icky shuffle in an airport bathroom. No being so frightened by a black man that your only defense is to offer him twenty bucks and a blow job.

Boring. Yes, I want boring.

Sara Paretsky said...

Libby, I'm way worse than you: I think it's political. All this touching, and we're so in love, it's like having to profess Jesus to get elected! Did Mary & Abe smooch in public or tell how long they'd been committed to Jesus? Did Martha and George hold public prayers for pipelines? Did Tom and Sally--whoops, let's not go there!

the Bag Lady said...

Yup, they are just setting themselves up for a bigger fall when someone comes along and digs up the dirt on them.....

Does anyone in the States even know that the Canadians are also having an election this fall? Our politicians are so boring, there is concern that, rather than watch our candidates in a debate on Thursday, most Canadians will be watching your Vice-Presidential candidates.....
Sheesh. If you really want boring, move to Canada!

ab said...

I think it's cute... I hope Barack didn't choose Michelle because he thought she´d be a great First Lady, but because they have fun in the sack ... call me sentimental...

Anonymous said...

The difference between President Kennedy and President Clinton was that Kennedy brought his trusted Boston goons along with him to the White House. There they served the nation as the most efficient pimps on the planet. If Clinton had done the same, we never would have heard of Monica Lewinsky. The problem may have been that when Clinton was elected President he had no male friends in Arkansas.

-- Tony D'Amato

ab said...

Philanderers are boring. I hope the different ladies brought something good to read.

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