Tuesday, September 11, 2007

To Cry, Kill, and Die; To Lie, Hate, and Fear

By Kevin Guilfoile

Hi, I have always been different from most of my peers - extremely quiet, unable to engage in any sort of small talk, somewhat obsessive, intelligent, and somewhat unable to make friends. Many of these qualities I attributed to the fact that I grew up in a house in the middle of nowhere, with no immediate neighbors, and the way that may [sic] parents were rather different than most people in the town that I lived near. (White trash town - my father is a doctor, my mother from France, and not used to many American customs) I was always considered talented and gifted in school, but I struggled socially (many people felt I was mute), and I have never been in a real relationship in my life despite my above average physical attractiveness. I am now 28 years old and recently moved from the United States to an island in the Caribbean.


Recent readers of this site will recognize in those words the troubled voice of Hans Rudolph Peterson, who one month ago confessed to last October's savage murder of Chicago dermatologist Dr. David Cornbleet.

(If you're new to the case, or if you've been directed here by the recent flurry of Peterson coverage, you can find links to previous reports in our last post related to Peterson's online activity at the Accutane/Roaccutane Action Group Forum. A version of that post also appears on the op-ed page of today's Chicago Tribune. If you are a regular reader of this site, our usual rotation of contributors will resume on Friday.)

The above introduction was posted to yet another internet discussion, this one at Wrong Planet an "online resource and community for those with Asperger's Syndrome." Peterson registered at the site in July of 2004, but apparently didn't post until February 4, 2007, three months after Dr. Cornbleet's murder. He joined the discussion only twice, but the posts seem to provide one more fold in the map Peterson was trying to follow to the source of his mental illness. As in the Accutane discussions, he is trying to find a concrete reason why he became the person he did. It is also perhaps the most revealing glimpse we've had into Peterson's psyche. In his own words, he provides a vivid picture of just what what Hans sees when he looks into the mirror.

I suppose what I am trying to do here, is determine whether or not I have AS. I have many of the attributes typically attributed to AS:

* Social awkwardness/lack of intuitive understanding of social situations: I have never felt comfortable with small talk, or making friends. It's not that I don't want do, I definitely do. I just find myself pushing people away frequently because I'm generally clueless regarding friendships - and, probably more importantly, I seem very averse to initiating or continuing normal social interaction with people that I have just met.

* Excessively logical rather than emotional thought processes. I'm not the person one would want to come crying to for comfort. My brain just doesn't work that way. I seem to always look at things from a logical rather than emotional perspective. (I have emotions, they just seem more warped and diluted than those of most other people.)

* Above average intelligence. In many (most?) areas of intelligence I am substantially more intelligent than my peers. When it comes to long term memory, or understanding systems, or writing, or most academic subjects I am just a lot better than most of my peers. (I have always done exceptionally well on standardized tests, etc.)

* Lack of organization/attention span. In classes or lectures I have never been able to take notes - not even a single page. For some reason, the whole idea of writing things down repulses me. When I am paying attention, I just try to process what is being said rather than writing anything down. Also, I frequently find myself staring out the window or at a wall with my mind wandering around some subject or idea totally unrelated to the class or lecture. These factors undoubtedly hurt my academic performance. I tried to correct them to some extent, but my success was very limited. Also, I virtually never clean my room or even use a garbage can - as a result most of my rooms/apartments are not very pleasant places in which to hang out.

* At points in my life, I have been rather lazy about my hygiene as well. Just not shaving or wearing the same clothes frequently because I become bored with the process of picking out different clothes to wear. (This has not always been the case, there have been stretches in my life where I have been rather hygienic.

* Obsessive interests: Generally I am either very interested in a subject, or not interested in it at all. This has resulted in quite varied performance in school and work. Also, I suppose, when I was a child, I would have very specific interests that I would obsess over at the expense of everything else (such as dinosaurs or geography). I have generally grown out of that pattern, however, the all or nothing interest that I have in subjects largely remains.

However, i do not have some of the common AS attributes: (at least I'm not aware of having these)

* Panic attacks: I can't even comprehend what it feel like to have one.

* Lack of coordination: I'm not especially coordinated, but nor am I especially uncoordinated.

* Stimming: I may have this, I'm not sure, I certainly don't do the over the top full body convulsion type of thing, but I do fidget a fair amount, and I almost always bounce one of my legs up and down when sitting.

Also, my line of work doesn't seem typical for someone with AS. I am a professional poker player and a key part of that is thinking from the perspective of one's opponents. However, in the setting of poker, this can be done in a very logical and systematic manner, so maybe it isn't that hard for someone with AS.

I have a variety of mental issues: depression, extreme shyness, and some shades of OCD.

So, do you think I have AS? (I took the online test, it said I was very likely an aspie.) If I am, what difference does it make? AS isn't a disease, right?. It does not have a known cause, or 'cure' for that matter. As a syndrome, is it just a group of attributes which seem to be rather correlated? I dislike some of my attributes, such as the social awkwardness. Does the idea that these things may be part of a greater syndrome make it easier to deal with? I don't know yet. I guess one good thing is that I now know that there are others that have the same peculiarities as me.


It's not clear that Hans ever concludes that he has Asperger's Syndrome, but three days later he joins a music discussion at the same site.

Although I doubt it was written with AS in mind, Tool "46&2" describes my mental state fairly well. In particular the obsessive tendencies, introspection, desire to analyze, and desire to change.

(From what I read it may have been written about some sort of Jungian psychology or the next step in the evolution of the human species, but the lyrics are vague enough to cover a wide variety of topics, including AS.)


These are the words to the song Forty Six & 2 by the band Tool, the lyrics which allegedly described Hans Peterson's mental state "fairly well" just three months after he bound, gagged, tortured, and stabbed David Cornbleet more than twenty times:

My shadow's
Shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.


A likely irrelevant but nevertheless creepy coda to Hans's brief foray into the Asperger's site is provided by another poster who calls himself Flagg. Like several other members of the online Asperger community, Flagg tries to welcome Hans and encourage him to post further.

"Welcome to the unending battlefield of Outer Planet," Flagg writes. "I'm the unofficial host of the slaughter, Liquid Ocelot."


DIPLOMATIC UPDATE: "U.S. Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Barack Obama (D-IL) today sent a letter to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice urging her to consider, in light of the State Department's support for France's extradition request for Manuel Noriega, to publicly request that the Government of France extradite Hans Peterson, an American citizen who reportedly confessed to the 2006 murder of Dr. David Cornbleet in Chicago."

MEDIA UPDATE: The syndicated television program Inside Edition will be featuring the murder of Dr. Cornbleet today (Thursday, September 13). In Chicago, that show airs at 3PM on WLS-TV channel 7.

29 comments:

Christa M. Miller said...

Honestly (brutally so) I think he sounds more like someone who has never been able to take responsibility for his own actions in life.

accutane peterson said...

It is heartbreaking to read about how Hans struggled to understand what happened to him. It seems clear that the Accutane induced psychosis caused permanent changes in his emotional brain.
As a extremely shy child and young man, he was certainly one of those "rare" people who are highly susceptible to the horrible adverse effects of this truly dangerous drug. He was a functioning member of society and a kind and gentle soul living on the edge of mental illness before this drug pushed him over that edge. There are many other people living on that edge.

If the senators from Illinois would like to do something enduring and important for the health and welfare of all Americans, they would work to reform the FDA.
This drug has been banned in several other countries, but the FDA has allowed Accutane to be continued to be marketed here by putting a lot of confusing legalese on the prescribing information. That does not stop tragedies like this from happening.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Christa, Hans has used accutane and now asperger syndrome to try to blame for his actions. TWO PILLS is all he took, I don't see how that can send him over the edge 4 years later to brutally murder Dr. Cornbleet. I don't doubt for one second he had/has mental issues but he has KILLED a man and two accutane pills or asperger syndrome don't justify that, not even for one second. While I know a parent wants to defend their child to the end, Mr. Peterson's posts seem to do to exactly what Hans has done - try to justify and blame something other than Hans himself for what he has done. Wonder where Hans learned that behavior..

Anonymous said...

Accutane Peterson = Thomas Peterson the boy's father
I think it is sad and a weak attempt how you keep pressing the issue of the drug caused him to do this. The courts will not buy that this was anything but premediated murder and escape. Wake up and smell the coffee. Maybe if you had been more activley involved in his life this whole tragedy could have been avoided. He was a direct danger to himself and everyone else. I think that you should be first in line to getting Hans Peterson back to face American Justice. Your family will continued to be dragged through the mud until he comes back. Hans Peterson is now an international story and people are so angry with him and how he is playing the system.

Anonymous said...

Kevin, well done in today's Chicago Tribune!!

Anonymous said...

as someone who has known hans for the last 10 years i can tell you that hans changed after accutane. i saw it with my own eyes. im willing to wager everyone who kevin has talked to who knew hans has told him the same. now if you outsiders continue to judge then so be it.

i believe hans should go to jail and im pretty sure he does too. he did turn himself in, did he not? this murder is inexcusable. however, that doesnt mean that accutane and cornbleet are not guilty of something.

IF cornbleet did not inquire about hans' mental history (given the potential side effects of this drug)than i believe he is guilty of negligence. and i know accutane is a dangerous drug. it didnt make hans kill cornbleet, it made him more depressed and screwed up his sensation.

im aware this is an emotionally charged case but please try to remain objective. nice reporting kevin...

Anonymous said...

How can you blame the doctor who cannot even defend himself? Nobody but Hans and that doctor knows what went on in the appointment. With Hans mental problems and obsessive personality he could obviously make himself believe anything and become fixated on it. If all we are trusting is Hans' word that the doctor wasn't thorough, then we are all having the wool pulled over our eyes. I work in a doctors office. No matter how much you tell a patient, if something goes wrong they will ALWAYS say they were never warned or told of the possible side effect or complication. That I can guarantee you.

Anonymous said...

"i believe hans should go to jail and im pretty sure he does too. he did turn himself in, did he not? this murder is inexcusable. however, that doesnt mean that accutane and cornbleet are not guilty of something."


If Hans was so noble and turned himself in and thinks he should be punished, why did he run to the Caribbean and establish French citizenship to avoid punishment from the US? That my friend was premeditated.

Anonymous said...

notice how i capitalized "IF" when posing the question about cornbleet.

im not even sure what point the second poster is trying to make but he was registered as a french citizen shortly after birth. did he premeditate that?-not sure babies can premeditate anything. my guess is he realized he would be caught eventually and given the choice between US judicial system and france, he'd rather have france's so he moved there.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I read your comments from above.

Negligence is great grounds for a malpractice or complaint against my father. As I have said, I worked for him for 10+ years and many times filling in before that as I pretty much grew up in that office. This is not indicative of how my father practiced. None of the accustations seem like how he practiced.
Hans has openly admitted that he went to France knowing his mother is French that he could avoid prosecution in the US by turning himself in. He turned himself in not because he felt remorse, but because he was aware that we were on to him and avoid facing justice in the US.

Regards,

Jon Cornbleet

Anonymous said...

good point Jon!
If I may bring my 2 € (I am French), Hans Peterson could have brought to court both his doctor and Roche Acutane if he felt prejudiced, justice would have made a point, or not?

US criminals in US courts! French people don't have to feed HP for the next 30 years.

Bert

Anonymous said...

right, file a complaint or malpractice lawsuit...
"There is no way to objectively verify Accutane-induced permanent neurological problems." those are his words from that acutane forum.

hans saw 2 doctors in nyc to have his problems verified but both told him that his symptoms were un-verifiable-not doubting they existed but unable to verify them.

so he could file suit but what for? one must prove damages have been done before you can suit someone for causing damage. i believe hans intended to suit cornbleet but as both of these doctors said no damage was verifiable he had no case-and as a law school student he knew that.

so perhaps now his predicament is more clear. he was given a drug that did horrible things to him and nothing could be done about it legally. therefore he took it upon himself and committed this despicable act to exact some perverse form of justice.

nobody should agree with what he did but perhaps now you will understand why. he is not some monster that is a threat to the public walking down the street.

Anonymous said...

"nobody should agree with what he did but perhaps now you will understand why. he is not some monster that is a threat to the public walking down the street."


Dr. Cornbleet's family will never understand why no matter what. Your justification does not make his family sleep better at night Bottom line, it is murder. And, if Hans was walking down my street, I would be fearful.

accutane peterson said...

Dear anonymous who has known Hans for 10 years,
I would like to communicate with you more privately.
Please email me at accutaneisthevillan@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

In his posting he critizes his own father as being basically a freak. After reading several of his posts, I have to agree the apple does not fall far from the tree. What a horrible father. If you were any kind of a dad, when Hans was acting out, why didn't you do anything to save your son? If your son stopped being a coward and turned himself to the US maybe the 2 Senators of the US would be able to concentrate on other things. Instead your monster of a son is causing an international affair.

Anonymous said...

It is heartbreaking to read about how Hans struggled to understand what happened to him. It seems clear that the Accutane induced psychosis caused permanent changes in his emotional brain, says Sr. Peterson.

I and the rest of the world think that Hans knew very well what he was doing. This murder was very, very well planned out and his escape was equally as well planned out. He drove many hours from New York to Chicago, he hid from cameras using towels to hide his fingerprints, walked into the office with a bag full of goods, drove back to New York full well knowing what he had done. He then fled the country and when he knew his own sister had told on him, he turned himself in to avoid a harsher US justice system. You have no chance at pleading insanity in this case, but I applaud you for trying. Hans is going to jail where he belongs whether he winds up coming back to the US or it goes down in France.
He may not be able to enjoy sex, but I can assure you that others will enjoy engaging it with him.

Anonymous said...

Amen...

I just read the arrest warrant and saw that his sister did come forward. I am happy that one person in the family felt badly about what happened and decided to step up.

Anonymous said...

I would be interested in reading the arrest warrant, do you have a link?

Anonymous said...

He thinks that he has above average looks? I am not sure what kind of a scale he is using, but that is one ugly son-of-a-bitch.
His cellmates can not see his face for what they are doing to him.

--Brad

Kevin Guilfoile said...

Administrative note: I deleted one of the posts above not because of any content issues but because one individual had accidentally posted the same comment twice.

Anonymous said...

The arrest warrant is not per se listed on line, but it is a public record and I have reivewed it.
It states that tips starting coming in pointing toward Hans Peterson and one of the main ones is from his own sister.

Anonymous said...

With all of the attention this case is drawing and the fact that Hans is fresh meat, the other prisnors are going to be all over him. He is probably getting pounded right and left. They hate Americans so Hans is going to be getting tortured in prison. I think it is a great thing that he is getting raped and tortured every single day.

Anonymous said...

I think that his father is one scrwed up guy. Why is it that no matter what is said Thomas Peterson always finds accutane as an excuse for his son's actions? What the hell does taking a drug 5 years ago have anything to do with a murder??? We all laugh if that is your excuse for your son's behavior.

Be a father for the first time in your life and tell your son what he did was wrong and what he is doing is dragging himself and your family though a whole lot of mud. Nobody is buying your bullshit. Not one of us... Your son comitted a heinous crime and he knew god damn well what he was doing when he did and when he left the country to protect his own coward white ass. Be a father for once in your life.

-Brad B

Anonymous said...

Senior Peterson says, "If the senators from Illinois would like to do something enduring and important for the health and welfare of all Americans, they would work to reform the FDA."

-Tell your son to stop trying to screw the system so that precious time and effort from the two Illinois Senators that now has to be given to extradite him back can be used for other things.

Anonymous said...

I took Accutane as a teenager for severe acne. I never had any type of mental problem nor did I have any lasting side effects from the drug. Perhaps I was lucky. I tend to think that Hans and his family are using Accutane as a scape goat for his abhorrent behavior and as a means to deflect attention from the heinous nature of the crime and onto something else. I hope that does not happen. Hans should be made to answer for what he did, which was commit a cold-blooded murder.

Anonymous said...

There's a growing number of people who are trying to use asperger's syndrome as a scapegoat for their behavior. In the end, it comes down to how believeable they are. I was involved in a case dealing with a man who was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and it was dropped dispite evidence. This is a slap in the face to victims, that a social disorder can let criminals face lighter or sometimes no sentances for what they did. This is why I made a support group for victims who aren't being taken seriously because the accused has this syndrome.

I hope this isn't breaking any rules, but here's the address. There aren't any members yet, it's brand new, but then I couldn't fid one already made. http://goche21.proboards101.com/index.cgi

Anonymous said...

Aspergers is not a "social disorder". The brains of those born with Aspergers are formed differently, are wired differently, & as a rule, they have far above-average IQ's, well into the genius caliber. (Einstein, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, half the U.S. Presidents are all Aspies, to name but a few.) This unique brain chemistry reacts radically differently to almost all medications; as such, dosage usually needs to be tempered WAY down to accommodate the extreme sensitivity, if advisable to use at all. Very few with Aspergers are ever diagnosed, & even when they are, are often disregarded & misunderstood by both the medical community & society at large. If anything can come from this tragedy, perhaps in the future more care can be taken in administering such volatile drugs to a population so susceptible to its adverse effects. Not making excuses, just hoping for better understanding & prevention of such heartache for others in the future. If a doctor were to prescribe something as awful as, say, PCP to a neuro-typically minded patient & he were to go "crazy" & commit a heinous act, well, we would blame the drug for causing his actions, wouldn't we? This is essentially what happened in this case. Only there was no malice intended, certainly no negligence on the doctor's part--he was trying to help his patient. I say this as an adult female also diagnosed with Aspergers, who was prescribed Accutane by an extremely well-renowned, altruistic dermatologist many years ago. While I have suffered severe, devastating life-long complications from the adverse effects of this drug, I have never once thought to hold the doctor liable. Nobody knew then how detrimental the drug could be. It now IS known--in particular due to this case--how dangerous this drug is. It is my sincere hope that Accutane will finally, permanently be taken off the market. Should have happened long ago. Might have prevented this tragedy . . .

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