Rules for Living

by Barbara D'Amato

When you buy Post-its, always get the Supersticky.

Yes, when you drive down the highway at the posted speed of seventy, and leave seven car lengths between you and the car ahead as you've been told to do, six cars will wedge themselves in between you. This behavior will continue whether you become outraged or not. Don't stress.

When you get toilet paper holders for your bathroom, get the ones that stick upright. Unless you enjoy crawling around the bathroom floor looking for a spring.

You'd need to eat four cups of cooked zucchini to get the energy-producing calories of two ounces of dark chocolate, and the chocolate is good for you.

Never buy cheap packaging tape. Your package will have ugly wrinkles, even if you don't tape yourself up.

When a pen doesn't work, throw it out. It will only sabotage you over and over otherwise.

As Joan Rivers said, always make chocolate cake. It doesn't show dirt.

Life's too short to drink cheap beer is true. You get what you pay for is not always true.

Well, these work for me. Can you add some?